Is there a chance?
NOTE: This is WAY longer than I expected, but I wanted to give you the whole story so you can have a good idea of my situation.
My name is Lyndsey, I'm 17/f, and I live in South Carolina. Up until about three weeks ago (a little less) I hadn't had my first boyfriend, kiss, anything. On Mother's Day this guy I didn't know (but was my age and lived close to me) sent me a message on MySpace. I usually don't answer messages from people I don't know, but for some reason I did. We ended up talking some and I gave him my phone number. We talked on the phone for a couple of days and he asked me out.
The day before the date we met in public (to make sure it was all good) and then the next day we saw a movie and had dinner. We also met each other's parents on that night. We had a great time, he gave me my first kiss, and it was all good from then on out. He told he things he'd never told any of his friend, like that he was a virgin.
I learned a lot about him over the phone and he seemed REALLY into me. We were laying together on his family's boat and his sister said "You never did that stuff with Amanda" (his ex) so I felt pretty awesome. haha. His parents like me and I spent a lot of time at his house for those two weeks. It went further than kissing. We made out, grinded, hand job, blow job, etc. These are all things I NEVER said I'd do with a guy that soon, but it just felt right and I did what I was comfortable with. But he knows and accepted that I wasn't going to have sex with him until I was ready.
On Friday we were laying on his bed together and he told me he LOVED me. Now, I'm not naive enough to think that it really is love. I mean, I love him, but I don't think I can be IN love with him, or vise versa, so soon. As my dad said, he's "in lust" with me. But I did think he really cared about me either way. Well on Sunday he left for California for 2 months to work with his dad. When his mom asked if we had a "no dating other people" policy, he said yes...but that's pretty much all we talked about while he was going to be gone. On the day before he left, he had a party at his house. It was his parents, my parents, one of his guy friends, and a bunch of friends of his parents. Me, him, and his friend pretty much stayed inside alone and he acted different than usual. I got over it because I know how guys are around their friends and he did move closer to me on the couch while we were watching TV and put his arm around me like he always does.
Then as I left the party, we were outside and he gave me this awkward friendship hug even though I wasn't going to see him for 2 months. I was pretty upset about it, but he told me he didn't want to give my dad the wrong idea. I don't know if that was the whole truth, but I moved on.
I haven't spoken to him on the phone since he left. I can't call him because I don't have a number to call and he hasn't called me. I figured he was busy with work and meeting up with old friends, so I tried not to pity myself too much. I've sent him two messages on MySpace and when he responds he seems pretty normal and ends it with "I miss you! Luv ya". I told him if he wasn't busy this weekend that he could call me, but only if he wanted to. He hasn't been online since then, so he hasn't read/responded to the message yet.
I know this could be a question you can't answer, but I'm feeling really insecure. I don't know if he intended to call me the entire time he was there or if he wanted to focus on work. I don't want to ask and sound needy, so I don't know what to do. I just need some type of feedback from him so I know he still likes me as much as he used to, because I know I do.
I know 2 months is a long time (and only 2 weeks of dating doesn't sound strong enough), but I really want us to pick up where we left off once he gets back. I really like him a lot and can't stop thinking about him (yes, I'm becoming like those girls I always ridiculed), but I really want to know how he feels without sounding like I expect him to call me 5 times a day while he's there. I don't, but I just want to know if he's still into me. I will definitely wait for him to get back, but I don't want to wait if he has no intention of continuing our relationship.
Again, I'm sorry this is so long. Thank you for your time.
1 comment:
Dilemma if there ever was one.
I understand how you feel.
Why don't you do a few things:
Visit his parents and keep in touch with them. Staying in his family circle keeps you in the picture.
Leave non-chalant messages on MySpace inquiring how things are going, ask if he's having any fun, beaches, etc., and tell him about your daily life and friends, and carry on a "conversation" as you would face to face.
Keep up the contact. Keep the conversation going with interest in his life in California and about the things you talked about before he left, and friends you have in common.
All you can do at this point, is keep contact as casusal as you can, so when he returns, the ball is in his court.
Good luck.
P.S. Additonal Answer from email:
I would wait for the weekend for his call while he isn't working. Then if he doesn't call you, message him on MySpace and ask if he had a nice weekend and that you thought he might have called you being off. Ease into it with inuendos.
Then, if necessary, call him and have an open and honest converstation without sounding possessive and needy-- but having the right to know since it was a "no-date" relationship while he is in California and all.
OR-- you could let it all go and continue messaging him as I said earlier and see how he responds and acts.
A good motto: Give a man enough rope and eventually he will hang himself. Another: Actions speaks louder than words.
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